10 million miles

I’m reading an old illustrated version of The Velveteen Rabbit to Vivienne this week. I especially love the wise Skin Horse’s description of how a toy becomes “Real”.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.  It’s a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.  “You become.  It takes a long time.  That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.  Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

One of the highest-stake decisions that we can make concerns baby-making (birth control? no birth control? rhythm? adoption? artificial insemination? and on and on…). Oddly, despite the life-altering outcomes, we must make these decisions before we are fully mature, wisened, and silver-haired. (Ah, just another opportunity to rely heavily and humbly on God!)

Regardless of our youth or limited understanding, when our heart’s priority is truly, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,” God does supply the wisdom, guidance, and circumstantial grace that grant our request (James 1). One of my favorite descriptions of our almighty God is: “He shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young” (Isaiah 40). Needless to say, I count on this protection every day of my life… especially regarding our family, our children.

This particular topic is so difficult to think about communally because it does look so different in each person’s life (no wonder so few pastors attempt to address the topic on Sunday mornings!). I don’t know why we all must wait our lifetimes to find out why we can or can’t have children, do or don’t marry, are able to or unable to adopt, etc., but I do know that whatever our circumstances are, God offers us guidance for life and godliness (2 Peter 1). It is possible to please Him; it is possible to rest peacefully in His perfect will. I guess that’s why Ryan and I are in search of wisdom regarding God’s will and vision for our little family…

And that’s why I’ve been throwing out some posts about this baby-making, family-making issue. I figure it’s kinda unfair of me to ask for your thoughts on the issue without offering my own. So, for starters, here’s what I thought about the Voddie Bauchman podcast and Piper article that I posted this week:

I believe that “Thy will be done” is at the heart of both Bauchman’s and Piper’s seemingly-contradictory messages (did you listen/read them yet?). So, their views are not perfectly opposed since they both desire God’s kingdom to come (just in slightly different ways).

I can’t say, though, that I fully agree with either argument. I don’t know about you, but I found their arguments beyond Scripture not perfectly logical. Bauchman seems to over-emphasize population growth (in one teaching, comparing the number of dwindling Christians to a hole in a bucket that must be patched and filled), while Piper too closely compares our stewardship of the earth with our stewardship of people.

At this point in my life - limited experience, circumstances, and all - I think I mostly agree with the multi-generational view and in most cases, would encourage Christians to have children (not necessarily “as many as they can!” nor necessarily limiting the number based upon our very-skewed understanding of finances, education, a full house, and “other ministry work”). ‘Cause, after all, we are to “be fruitful and multiply” (not just remain stagnant at 1.8 children per family), children are a blessing and inheritance from the Lord, children are the people who will join us in Heaven, children show us how to receive the kingdom of Heaven, and children are an amazing vessel through which we learn about God and become more like Christ. Of course, “having babies” in and of itself decidedly does not advance God’s kingdom (I’m sure we can all think of convincing examples); building families full of people who love God requires complete and lasting heart-changes amongst mothers, fathers, children, and others. More than encouraging any person to have or not to have children, I mostly just want to encourage people to seek God’s will for their families; to raise those one, two, or fifteen little ones to love and obey Jesus. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done!

At this point in my life - limited experience, circumstances and all - I question some of the reasoning in Piper’s argument (even though I agree wholeheartedly with some of his other teachings). For example:

* A stalk of corn does not equal Vivienne.

Piper references the Dominion Mandate in Genesis 1 to justify using our human wisdom to control human birth just as we use human wisdom to control crops. I fail to see the comparison. God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” is distinct from his command to “subdue it: and have dominion” over the plants and animals. I believe that God grants us dominion over plants and animals in order to wisely provide for our growing families. Throughout Scripture, God continually claims divine responsibility for pre-ordaining, creating, and fashioning humans. Although Scripture like Psalm 128 are not formulas, they repeatedly emphasize the pattern of a fruitful eternal family being a blessing from God. Maybe I’m wrong, but I have never noticed as many (any?) references to non-eternal crops being as important to humans or God.

That said, it is virtually impossible to make decision without some element of human manipulation and control (after all, God gave us the privilege of dominion and action)… In this argument, I just mean that I don’t think we can necessarily justify birth control with farming practices (or the choice to remain single, for that matter).

* Just because God can over-rule birth control, doesn’t mean we should test Him on it.

Didn’t Jesus even make a decision based upon God’s command that we not test Him (Matthew 4)? Of course God can over-rule any of our decisions, but we strive to please Him and do His will because He loves us… and we love Him. So, popping a pill, or scheduling a surgery, or even calculating on a calendar are not light matters. All I know is that we must sincerely ask Him to search our hearts and guide each one of us in His perfect will; and then, we obey Him and peacefully rely on His grace when we simply can’t see the whole story.

* We do not know our own hearts; we do not know how God wants to change us or what He has planned for the future.

In light of this, I tremble at the thought of making any “final” decision regarding our ability to have children without overwhelming divine peace and guidance to do so. I’m just not sure that I can fully embrace the popular idea that our perception of how many children we want or are suited for trumps the strong possibility that we could be completely transformed tomorrow. Perhaps we can’t comprehend how we would change and fall in love if God blessed us with more. As is usually the case with humans, so many exceptions arise (health issues being amongst the most serious), but I think as a general rule, we should deliberately keep ourselves transformable, moldable, and moveable, agreeing with Solomon that “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord; he directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases” Proverbs 21:1.

Last, but not least…

In closing, I do want to emphasize that these are simply my thoughts and my interpretation of Scripture; they reflect the way God is calling me and our little family to live. I’ve at least learned that beyond what God has revealed to me through Scripture, I can’t make any assumptions to know the vast voice and will of God as He guides and builds up the other members in the Body of Christ. Nor can I judge anyone: sure, I might jump up and down and try to convince you to at least consider loving some little ones (can you really blame me?), but may I always be more concerned that you, too, pray “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done…”

I offer these thoughts to you humbly and would love to know yours, too!

More to think about! For those of you who listened to the Voddie Bauchman teaching that I posted a couple of days ago, here’s an article by John Piper challenging some of Voddie’s views.  A friend of mine emailed it today; it offers an engaging argument.  As always, I love to know what you all are thinking…

  No one told me that our daughter’s transition into eating a bowl of Rice Krispies (you know, just shoveling them in there with bed-head, floppy jammies, and all) would seem so monumental… so historical…

Last night, Ryan helped me to finally decide on a red Asian-flavored blog background; he modified it for me and everything, but today I realized that the swirly little icons on the site are actually dragons. So, I’ve decided to switch out. Hence, the daisies. If I stick with this one, I’ll have to do something about that “witty tagline” bit at the top, and the “error in your SQL” warning. (?) Why can’t I love web design? It’d be so much easier just to create my own… Alas.

My sister, Erin, left a comment that was too good not to bring out into its own post:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

All of it.

A little while ago, I wrote a post about hope. This morning, I find myself returning to similar thoughts…

The children recite, “the love of the Lord endures forever”

Momma explains, He sees in the forever and loves in the forever

We see in the moments from birth until death

And try not to, but tend to, believe that’s “forever”.

*

A bear’s foot must be pushed further into the painful trap to be released

“That’s like us!” we say, happy with an explanation for heartache,

“The bear can’t see the end; neither can we.”

But we lay our heads on our pillows and sigh; it still feels like pain, now.

*

He makes people in the forever and walks them through death

This dusty earth becomes pilgrims who won’t stay here, forever

He attaches people who are detached by time and place; blood holding them together with each other

with the Messiah, forever

We try not to, but tend to, neglect this hand and walk towards death on our own

*

He makes promises in the forever and keeps them there

We snip them out like coupons and desperately want them to work for this week’s list

Oh, but we forgot! We are the pilgrims who work the promise out,

Touching fingers from the past to the next generation

Recounting, “the love of the Lord endures forever.”

*

Who were those forerunners who hoped and hoped without receiving the promise?

Who were those men and women who somehow said,

“We are pilgrims here; this is merely a vapor of forever. When we all get to Heaven…”

They reached back and forward so we would run patiently, too; so that

We would, though we tend not to, remember our homeland.

*

Can a woman or a man endure pilgrimage for 80 or 90 years?

Can one post-modern late-twenties woman join those in the past and those in the future

and be content to journey towards a promise that is still afar off?

Can we push our feet further in, knowing that the hand around us, at least,

Sees the forever?

A friend of mine pointed me to Kirk Cameron’s and Ray Comfort’s “The Way of the Master” site.  What a necessary wake-up call!  I took “the love test,” and didn’t need any results to humbly admit my need for God to help me live and love well.

In the flavor of Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters, this “How to Botch up an Altar Call” helps to identify areas where our brains and spirits have gone slack:

A few keys for those who don’t want people saved in their altar calls

1. Present an unbalanced message. Only let them see the heart-warming part of God’s character. Preach God’s love but leave out His holiness and justice. That way they’ll think He’ll let them into heaven no matter what.
2. Don’t mention repentance until they’re repeating a “sinner’s prayer.” Just get them to say, “I repent of all my sins” while they’re echoing you. They won’t know what they’re saying and they won’t count the cost.
3. Above all else, be dignified. Don’t get heart to heart with the people. They would get something out of what you said.
4. Skim over the gospel and push the prayer. Pretend the lost naturally understand what Christ has done for them.
5. Preach Jesus as a life enhancer not a life rescuer. Tell them how Jesus can improve their life but don’t show them Jesus as the only One who can save them from Hell. People will think if they reject Him they’re only losing out on a spiritual high.
6. Try to please the people instead of convert them. Tell them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear.
7. Compromise the message to speed up the process. The Christians who have heard it a hundred times before will be pleased with that. The quicker they get out the quicker they can get to the restaurant.
8. Give them the impression that God is so good He won’t send anyone to hell. Don’t present the whole counsel of God or they might realize He is so good that He’ll see to it that justice is served and that all unrepentant sinners will be punished in the fire that is not quenched.
9. Speak to sinners as though they were saints. They’ll think they’re God’s children instead of the enemies of God they’ve made themselves into because of their sin. You’ll give them false assurance and mislead them.
10. Don’t mention sin or man’s guilt. Resist the urge to explain what Christ came to deliver us from. Don’t show them their need for the Savior. Otherwise it may all make sense.
11. Don’t look to the Bible for the substance of your altar call. Only mimic other preachers with large congregations.
12. Tell the lost not to feel bad about their sins. That way you will work against the Holy Spirit who’s convicting them
13. Whatever you do, never mention Judgment Day. Your audience might take spiritual matters seriously.
14. Tell them Jesus is the only way to heaven but don’t explain why. They may think it’s nothing more than fear tactics and leave offended instead of enlightened.
15. Confuse the call. This is a great way to botch up an altar call. Don’t let people know you’re asking them to commit their life to Christ. Be vague and general in what you’re saying. Neglect to mention following Christ in your evangelistic altar calls and say things like, “If you don’t feel you’re as close to God as possible raise your hand,” “If you feel lonely come to the front for prayer,” “If you want more of God this is your time,” and, “If you have struggles and need the answer come down.” Just get them to raise a hand. That way no one will be able to count the cost and you’ll even get saints to respond to salvation altar calls, making the results look more successful.
16. Only give them half the story. Tell them Jesus died to forgive everyone but overlook the fact that they must personally receive Him to partake of that forgiveness.
17. Present the truth as though it isn’t. Be so funny when you share Christ that you belittle the seriousness of the matter.
18. Preach forgiveness without repentance. That way no one will know how to be forgiven.
19. Be unbiblical. Present repentance and faith as an offer instead of how God does as a command (Acts 17:30).
20. Let them think next Sunday is the day of salvation. Don’t make them feel it’s urgent to respond today.
21. Never warn of hell. Dangle heaven in front of their nose but rarely mention hell, certainly not as much as Jesus did.
22. Only do altar calls inside the church. Never take the gospel where sinners congregate. The lost might get saved.
23. Use churchy terms. Use words like, “saved,” “repent,” and “born again,” without any explanation. That way your hearers won’t comprehend what you’re saying. If they can’t understand it, it’s probable they won’t be changed by it.
24. Give false assurance of salvation to unsaved Christians. Assure church folk that they are saved even if they bear no fruit. So that you don’t offend the unsaved pew warmers never quote 2 Corinthians 13:5: “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith.” You could lose some financial supporters and have to depend on God.
25. Never mention the wrath of God. If you mention it, people might be awakened to flee to Jesus who “saves us from the wrath to come.” ( 1 Thess. 1:10)
26. Study how the apostles preached and witnessed and do the opposite. Don’t explain Jesus’ suffering death on the cross. Otherwise they may think of running to Him for forgiveness. Don’t speak of His burial or resurrection or they might realize He is God. Refrain from commenting about the hundreds of eyewitnesses who saw Jesus after He rose from the dead. That way they can go on thinking He’s a fairy tale. Overlook talk of the messianic prophecies Jesus fulfilled or they might realize that the Bible is true. If they see it’s the truth they may see that following Christ is the logical decision. And whatever you do, avoid what the apostles did when it came time to call people to obey the gospel. Don’t tell them to trust Christ and live for Him. That is too accurate. If they know how to get saved your altar call will be a success.
27. Put more emphasis on the “sinner’s prayer” then on repentance and faith. Satan will smile over your departure from Biblical instruction. We are never taught to use a ‘sinner’s prayer’ throughout the entire Bible. If you decide to use it and put more emphasis on the technique than on what we’re commanded to preach: faith and repentance you’ll certainly botch things up. A ‘sinner’s prayer’ doesn’t equal salvation, only faith in Christ and repentance toward God do.
28. Let Christians think you’re the only one who can do it right. Always leave the impression that they should only invite friends to church and never actually witness themselves. It will keep you in business and the lost unsaved.
29. Don’t let the lost know they are. Disregard subjects like Judgment Day, God’s holiness, man’s sinfulness and justice. That way the lost can continue to think they’re “good enough” to get into heaven.
30. Rely upon psychological techniques to manipulate people into responding to the altar call. Don’t rely upon the Holy Spirit or they may actually get saved.
31. Make sure you’re the main attraction. Remember the goal in botching up an altar call is for people to leave and say, “What a wonderful preacher,” instead of, “What a wonderful Savior.” Draw all possible attention to how great a speaker and person you are. Otherwise people might see Christ in your preaching and get saved.
32. Don’t focus upon Jesus. Finally, the best way to botch up an altar call is not to preach the gospel. Just get people to lift up a hand and pray a prayer with you. Resist the urge to speak of the only One who could save them.

Sometimes the best way to get a point across is to put it in a different light. You now know a few ways to botch up an altar call. Please do not employ them. Do the opposite. You may already do some of them. Don’t let pride keep you from changing and doing things in a Biblical fashion. The bottom line is how true we are to Christ and His word. Effectively reaching the lost is our purpose. Let nothing hold you back from that agenda. May God bless you as you seek to win people to Christ in Bible clubs, churches, conferences, on the street witnessing encounters, at your school, and at your workplace.

Adapted from Becoming an Emissary for God by Allen Atzbi

Ruth Graham’s children quote her as saying about her marriage to Billy Graham, “Divorce, never. Murder, maybe.” (Of course, the power of this quotation rests on the confident assumption that Ruth Graham would never murder her husband!) Considering Billy Graham’s travels, work, and celebrity, Ruth’s commitment to him was quite significant. And to carry off a tongue-in-cheek statement that emphasizes a strong commitment to marriage - instead of an inclination to murder - indicates that Ruth Graham lived “divorce, never.”

I am always struck by the faithfulness of people who make it through life with one other person…let alone make it through a tough life with one other person. And Ruth was one who actually did it. For the past couple of weeks, I keep returning to this one woman’s commitment never ever to abandon her husband. Is my commitment to marriage - my own and others’ - so strong as to say confidently, “divorce, never”? (And, yikes, would my children know for sure that I was joking when I added “murder, maybe”?)

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God for consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.” -Hebrews 12: 1 - 3

Yesterday, Vivienne confidently exclaimed, “I’m exactly what you need today, momma!”