10 million miles

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When a Mommy is home with her children all day, whining can truly be a deal-breaker! Even young children can learn how to think better about expressing their needs.

The next time your two-year-old (or twenty-two year old) comments only about a problem, let her know THAT is whining and ask her to come up the solution to her problem instead. A young child’s solution will usually require your help and attention, but you’ll be happy to grant his sweet request. An older child will realize that – (what-dya-know) – he can take care his own problem by himself. Presto-chango! No more whining!  We discovered this transformative concept from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You… and Your Kids.

Here’s what I mean:

(Oh, you never know the tidbit of inspiration that may come your way at 10 Million Miles… Subscribe today!)

I’m just five years into this parenting thing, but I can tell already that holding a consistent expectation of obedience creates a peaceful home full of healthy people! Though we really try to prioritize obedience here, we go through seasons where we aren’t vigilant about it and things quickly spiral out of control: without it, we all become selfish, distracted, unhappy whiners. With it, we learn how to love sacrificially, obey God himself, and study the peace of our family. I’ve grown to love obedience and am happy to continually return to it, so that it is a crowning jewel in our home.

Resources to check out:

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…in You and Your Kids! – Scott Turansky

Subscribe to the National Center for Biblical Parenting encouraging email updates (materials by Turansky and Miller)

Shepherding a Child’s Heart – Ted Tripp

To Train up a Child – Michael and Debi Pearl

(Oh, you never know the tidbit of inspiration that may come your way at 10 Million Miles… Subscribe today!)

I’ve said it a million times: nothing – nothing – has inspired my prayer life like having a husband and children.

I don’t know about you, but these days, I’m prayin’ all day long: from the constant whispers of, “Thank you, Father! She is adorable! You are a genius!” to the panicky, “Oh-yikes-oh-yikes-oh-yikes! She’s JUST. LIKE. ME. Help, Father!!”

A household of precious people and animals keeps a woman’s heart busy!

How quickly I have learned… (read the rest at Raising Homemakers!)

(Tomorrow, my daughters will share our “obedience song” at 10 Million Miles… Subscribe today so you can start humming it, too!)

(You’re going to think this is a strange thing to get all sentimental about, but it was meaningful to me as I continue to weave through the mourning process…)

The other day, Vivienne lost her earring-back in grandmom and grandpop’s car.

She told me later that she had been so upset about it that she was crying and crying. She was concerned about her ears closing up; about germs getting in and causing infection.

Grandpop pulled over to the side of the road. Grandmom searched the seats.

Vivi told me that once she replaced the earring and its back, she remembered that salt-water has a purifying effect, so she took one tear and rubbed it under her right earring; she took another tear and rubbed it under her left earring.

I told her that she was turning sorrow into healing, and she smiled at me, knowing just what I meant.

Maybe it’s okay for a child to face the grave.

Though we live in a culture, and are – thankfully – still part of a generation where the grave is rare, our family hasn’t had the luxury of avoiding the grave this time. (Shoot, and I’d done such a good job of replacing all of the old morbid nursery rhymes with idyllic daydreams. I’d established a nice little “of course not, honey, you’ll never die” subconscious environment that, I’m now realizing isn’t the most hopeful or life-affirming approach afterall.)

Last week, Vivienne was paging through In Felicity’s World, a compliment to the American Girl books. She stopped at a photo of a baby-doll that was tucked into a baby-doll-sized coffin. She asked me what it was. The caption explained that, because 50% of children under 6-years of age died during colonial times, this was a common toy to help children face the grave. That took my breath away. Although I don’t plan on adopting such a toy or belaboring a difficult topic for our children, I did wonder if colonial children embraced their faith in Jesus Christ more readily because they saw, quite plainly, why they had to.

I wonder if we, with our very low mortality rate, have turned our eyes away from the grave so well that we do not face it until we are 60 years old and our parents pass away from old age. But if we do not face the grave until we are 60, we wait that long to face our arch enemy; to truly understand our great need for Jesus’ triumph. Perhaps, on the rare occasion when death does touch someone we know or love, it’s a good idea to bring our children with us into mourning. Then, we will stand side-by-side anticipating Christ’s promised comfort.

Seeing how well both girls have processed Juliette’s death and burial so far, seeing how triumphant their faith has become as they believe more deeply in their Savior and anticipate the day when we will be reunited, and seeing how my own faith has grown and my own eyes have been opened to the gospel with a new desperation, I think that maybe it’s okay for children to face the grave when death occurs.

I think it’s okay for children to look upon a loved one’s body that is returning to the earth, and mourn. I think it’s okay for them to cry. Or to stare, wide-eyed. Or, perhaps, to dance by that grave, as sweet Lia did for Juliette.

I think it’s okay for children to see for themselves that the grave is desperately wrong; to recognize their own need for a righteous Man to wipe their tears away and make all things new.

Perhaps their faith will grow as we hold their hands and explain the gospel to them at that grave site: that Jesus Christ gave his life so that our spirits could rise to greet Him; that He will appear in the sky, will create a new earth, and will restore all things.

And if we do that – dealing gently and honestly with them through the mourning – I think that they will not develop an obsession with death; but with life.

Now that I’m engrossed in the Pre-K/ K/ 1st grade world, I sometimes get real lonesome for that good old academic talk: you know, all the theory, essays, and composition of grad school and college. Well, this past weekend, Andrew Pudewa’s sessions kicked up the dirt of my past English trail and I felt like I was listening to an old friend.

The director of the Institute for Excellence in Writing, Mr. Pudewa was full of charisma, intelligence, practical advice, and – get this - the Holy Spirit (now that’s not something I remember seeing in college…)

Most uplifting was his session entitled Fairy Tales and the Moral Imagination, in which he spoke about the high value of fairy tales in developing our understanding of the gospel,

of expecting Good to triumph over evil,

and of relishing a “virtual reality” that is usually more “real” than “reality” itself.

In a culture packed with virtual realities and confused archetypes, I happily read the fairy tales to my daughters who – as if they are stirred by the Holy Spirit himself – have always loved them.

Of course, it’s just my opinion, but over the past several years, I’ve been thinking that perhaps the Lord is digging up these old, old tales to awaken our children’s hearts and get them ready for the King’s return and the true happily-ever-after. Perhaps they, of all generations, must be well-acquainted with the face of evil, the weapons of battle, and the vision of true beauty.

It’s interesting to watch the enemy “imitate” God’s move through ugly tales that exonerate dragons, witches, and vampires, dulling children’s response to evil and distracting them from true heroics and valor. What a tactic: to cause the children to stop hoping that good will triumph over evil.

May our children – who read beautiful tales about good kings and valiant warriors; who identify evil as evil and good as good; who know implicitly that good wins – be fully prepared when the King returns, justice is wrought, and tears are wiped away. And may they proclaim this Story to ones who’ve only heard the former…

This week, I’ll pass along a few of the treasures we discovered at this year’s incredible CHAP convention.

(“CHAP” convention?? Yes, the Christian Homeschool Association of Pennsylvania, naturally. It’s one of the largest homeschooling conventions in the country and is held in our very own Harrisburg every year. Two years ago, as I anticipated my first attendance, I was told,

“Oh, yuck. It smells like poop and you’ll be the only one in lipstick.”

But, OH WAS THAT INCORRECT!

Okay, so it smells *faintly* of manure and who-has-time-to-apply-lipstick-when-she’s-frantically-looking-over-thousands-of-mouth-watering-curriculum-options, BUT, it is glorious. Dozens of incredible speakers, thousands of incredible resources, and thousands of Christian HOMESCHOOLERS all mingling together!! What more could a girl want?? I think I’ve finally talked Ryan into making it my birthday and Mother’s Day gift every year for the next 10 years at least.)

So, CHAP 2010.

Treasure #1: George Sarris of The World’s Greatest Stories

This man blew us away on Friday night with his performance of 3 dramatized recitations of stories straight out of Scripture. Talk about hearing the Word of God in a new way! My spirit stirred in me when Abraham looked upon his son, strapped to the altar, and proclaimed in with deep guttural conviction, “THE LORD WILL PROVIDE.”

We purchased 2 of his CDs and are so so pleased by his ability to recite Scripture word-for-word and yet vitalize all of the characters, passion, and glory of God.

We’ve been playing the stories in the car. Let’s just say, Vivienne and Lia sit on the edge of their car seats until the end of each story. Fantastic.

Per Ryan’s request, I really do try to limit the chart-making around here. Rightly so, he believes that every behavior modification doesn’t have to be charted and rewarded; he had to speak up when I showed tendencies towards obsessive chart-making quite early on. But every once in a while, I come up with waay-too-good of an idea and a chart happens on our frig. He’s okay with that.

Most recently, the mission has become to help our desperately-allergied-but-hesitant-nose-blower Vivienne to stop wiping her nose on her shirt and start blowing her nose into a tissue.

Poor girl; we’ve dawdled on this way too long.

Hence, a chart with a bunch of tiny tissues stapled on. So, when Viv blows her nose – a great big blow – she tosses the tissue away along with a tiny tissue from her chart. When she has cleared the chart, she’ll have a friend over. As you can see, we’ve already gotten some good ones from her.

Now, that’s something to “Gesundheit” about!

From the archives: Here’s a chart from “ancient history” that worked well to help Viv pronounce her beginning “S’s” when she was ’till ‘aying ‘kittles. When she’d say a word with the beginning “S”, I’d jot the word down. Once she claimed all of the “S’s” on the chart, she earned that bag of stapled Skittles!

Several comments to my recent post, “The Woman Teacher“, expressed concern that I consider all of Scripture – and not just one little verse  in formulating my thoughts about a woman’s place in teaching men doctrinally in the church.

To my concerned writers, I gladly respond, Do not fear! For it has been in considering all of Scripture – including the “one little verses” - that I have wrestled (and wrestled) and ultimately come to a peaceful conclusion for myself.

I have considered Deborah… a God-appointed judge in a time of God-appointed judgment.

I have considered the woman at the well… an open vessel of “Look what He has done!”

I have considered the beloved women at the tomb… honored, awe-struck proclaimers of life… not heard or believed by men who had to encounter Christ for themselves. Luke 24:11.

I have not forgotten the women of God. I have not forgotten the redeeming power of the Cross.

Nor did Paul when he penned 1 Timothy 2.

Perhaps, these examples and others like them are not as useful in refuting 1 Timothy 2, as much as they are useful in restoring our peace that – in the midst of 1 Timothy 2: 11- 15 – God fully intends for women to be obedient, able, witnesses of His character and deeds.

So.

Ah.

When I consider all of Scripture,

All I can say is…

“Who is like the Lord?

And what have we to say on the matter?

He is the Potter.

He is the Boundary Maker. He is the Boundary Breaker.

He works mysteries beyond my interpretation or understanding.

Who is like the Lord:

Who made me a woman and not a man

Who has given me great peace about not teaching or usurping a man’s authority in the church

But, who could ask me tomorrow to be a Deborah – judging men in a time when they will not do it themselves

Who has made me like the woman at the well – gladly proclaiming His salvation to all creatures.

Who has made me like a woman at the empty tomb – amazed to see Him risen; grateful when others see Him, too.

Who teaches me to consider others more significant than myself,

to lay my life down for my friends,

and to rest contently in the One who really did.

***

And so, dear friends, in answer to your concern:

Yes, I long to consider all of Scripture!

(What treasures I would miss if I didn’t.)

And when I consider all of Scripture,

my heart resounds with a desire simply to please the Author.

Which, I bet, is what you desire, too.

***

Thank you, friends, for your mercy and care.

Let’s keep listening for His voice and running into His arms…

…and considering all of Scripture (wink).