It comes in two different forms:
1. Another female has just explained her super-inspiring career, turns to face you and asks, “And what do you do?”
2. You need to fill out a form that asks, “Where do you work?” or “Career?”
These questions have the power to turn the loveliest stay-at-home-mothers into mushy, apologetic, jealous, defensive, and insecure lumps. (I know from personal experience!)
Let’s face it: this particular glaring spot-light burns.
We feel belittled, less-than, under-appreciated. Or, (worse!), defensive, and indignant.
If you know what I’m talking about, my friend, this is the moment of freedom you have been waiting for.
I’ve gotta share with you the loveliest, most honest, best answer for that question! I love it. And I think you will, too.
Here’s what I’ve decided to do:
I remember that staying home with my children is an honor that few women enjoy these days.
I remember that many women dream of staying home with their children, but can’t.
I remember the sacrifices that my husband is making to be the sole-bread-winner.
I remember the sacrifices that I am making to forgo a career, a paycheck, and reliable affirmation.
I remember the ways in which I have grown, the opportunities I’ve had to fix, clean, cook, love, and rest in the home that I am making.
I remember the ways in which my children are flourishing.
I remember that all of these things could change tomorrow.
And then, I smile, look the person in the eye with kindness, and say,
“Actually, I’m able to stay home with my children.”
The truth removes the spot-light. It helps everyone to breathe again. It disarms defensiveness on all sides. It retains the dignity of my choice, yet doesn’t condemn another person’s choices.
Try it! I have a feeling that you’ll both agree: it’s a wonderful ability, a luxurious opportunity, and an out-of-this-world gift to be you.
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