Category: Stillbirth
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Having a Catch (new podcast episode)
If you are feeling distraught, if you are at the end of your rope, if you are discouraged, feeling empty, even bitter; this episode is especially for you. In those moments when we can’t wrangle our emotions to line up with the truth of God’s Word, we can at least grab a hold of God’s…
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My Stillbirth Story (Podcast Episode)
When we’re gathering around the dinner table or piling into the van, I naturally count the kids. “One, two, three, four, five, six.” Despite all of the energy and noise, I often get the sensation that someone is missing. Call me crazy, but it’s not quite loud enough. And there’s just a little too much…
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Who is Like God?
I’ve never felt satisfied by the book of Job when we learn that God blessed the latter part of his life more significantly than the beginning. We all know that no amount of children or wealth would help him to forget his losses. The rest of his life – as bounteous as it may have…
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Friends Don’t Let Friends Dye Their Hair
Some time has passed since I’ve written about the stillbirth of our daughter. At the time, I wrote some serious and reflective words. And now, I feel the freedom and passion to write some not-as-serious, but kind-of-important words. You might find them insensitive or inappropriate, but I think any woman would appreciate the insight you’ll…
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What Due Dates Mean
Maybe you’ll remember that I posted this same photo way back in February. At the time, I was enjoying the early weeks of my third pregnancy. I was happy and content as I felt life growing and changing inside of me. Yet, I glimpsed something profound about Lia asking to wear her bathing suit for…
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Sorrow into Healing
(You’re going to think this is a strange thing to get all sentimental about, but it was meaningful to me as I continue to weave through the mourning process…) The other day, Vivienne lost her earring-back in grandmom and grandpop’s car. She told me later that she had been so upset about it that she…
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Mourn With Those Who Mourn
These notes are for myself to remember how much certain gifts have meant to me; to remember that, in time, that’s the way I want to give, too. A list of the gifts that have ministered such grace to me during my mourning… Some are well-worn beloved sentiments that work every time; others are surprising…
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How She Won My Heart
When I delivered Juliette, I wasn’t expecting to feel the same bonding that I felt with our other children. I wasn’t expecting to feel that deep love that took root when I held our first two squirmy, crying, nursing daughters. And yet, I did. She lay so still in the crook of my arm, and…
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Maybe it’s okay…
Maybe it’s okay for a child to face the grave. Though we live in a culture, and are – thankfully – still part of a generation where the grave is rare, our family hasn’t had the luxury of avoiding the grave this time. (Shoot, and I’d done such a good job of replacing all of…
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Holding You
(Still Father’s Day. Still at church.) After the Assistant Pastor finished up acknowledging the new fathers and giving them pounds of coffee, a woman slid into her seat directly in front of me. In her arms, she held her 6-day-old infant. He was so small. He was unspeakably precious. His tiny ruddy head reminded me…
