1. You compromise your former conservative view of vaccinations and suddenly find yourself begging the pediatrician to pull out any and every possible vaccination in the cabinet.  (You also realize that you would perform miserably in a torture chamber since you are suddenly willing to do anything to avoid pain.)

2. You find that the only laughable thing in your world is the label placement on the box of your medication:

3.You meet with three doctors and one nutritionist in one week, read 500 Shingles-based websites, analyze countless digital pictures of rashes, and take any pill, powder, or dried fish that promises relief.

4. Faux sunburn.

5. You begin a side business making fake ID’s for youngsters so that they can receive the Shingles vaccination offer to the 50+ crowd.