‘Ever have a day when you lived horizontally all day? When everything you do seems to be so smashed down onto this planet that it is almost impossible to see eternal worth in it? I had a morning like this. Sure, I got my little check-list completed:
* scraped the paint off of the kitchen window gears
* washed down the dining room walls and heaters
* removed a pesky corner of painter’s tape from a project two years ago
* completed an impressive grocery order (even freezing 5 lbs of organic ground beef that I bought on sale!)
* …and an impressive CVS order
* …all without hardly exhaling once all morning (ever have a to-do list like that?).
But all of my coupon wielding, bucket dumping, and toy-organizing seemed so here-and-now. I quickly became dismally exhausted by my mundane tasks. By noon, I knew that something was drastically wrong with my approach.
How refreshing it was to spend Vivienne’s nap time pouring my heart out to the Lord, sharing my disappointments, asking for light on my confusions, and receiving His forgiveness for my sins!
My Advent readings included Psalm 25, which miraculously expressed my heart’s ache so precisely. The very first verse “Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul…” brought tears to my eyes as I felt the relief of lifting my soul up and out of the “horizontal” morning; of lifting my soul up into His realm of forgiveness, grace, divine purpose, and peace. In our time together, He so kindly clarified the purpose of the work He has ordained for me and shed some convicting light on all of the work that I had needlessly added to the list, often bumping His work down on the priority list. How kind of Him to restore my soul, give me purposeful work that is neither ambiguous nor meaningless, and to allow me to lift my soul up to His perfect embrace.
“O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.” Psalm 25: 20