Every time I scroll through my social media account, I see some type of warning about being a helicopter parent. They say kids these days are too sheltered and are suffering from our fear-laden over-protection. I know that I’m not supposed to obsess over my child’s life.
I’m not supposed to solve his problems for him, perfect his resume, or rescue him from natural consequences, but I’m wondering, am I a helicopter parent?
And if we are, what should we do instead?
I’m concerned that as a society we’ll panic and swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. In an effort to avoid over-scheduling, over-indulging, and over-controlling our children’s lives, we’ll simply steer our helicopters away, erring on the side of neglect. In 20 years, we’ll discover that our children have grown up without the much-needed presence, wisdom, affection, and support of their parents. Parents will simply “helicopter” somewhere else, obsessing over careers, self-image, health, pets, or whatever.
Simply “flying away” is not the solution.
God helps helicopter parents by giving us a clear vision of what our relationship with our children should look like in Deuteronomy 6. In verse 7, in particular, he tells parents, “You shall teach [God’s character, ways, and commands] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
If we want to avoid helicopter parenting, our best alternative is to get out of the helicopter and to put our feet on the ground next to our children.
God’s vision of parenting is intimate and relational. It is ordinary and on-going…