i feel the ache

without hugs, i don’t know how to say “hello” to my friends

i don’t know how to say “hello” to my family

our very souls are knit together, yet now we stand six feet apart and flounder awkwardly

i miss hugs when i see a friend at the grocery store

i miss hugs when we meet for a walk , hugging opposite sides of the path

i miss hugs when she’s sad and i can’t find words to comfort her

i miss hugs when, after the walk, she finds her keys, gets in her car, and drives away

i relied on hugs to communicate the stuff of life that is too awkward and often impossible to speak aloud

things like, but not exactly: welcome into my life- i like you already- i have time for you- being with you makes me happy- you are precious to me- you are different than all of the people i pass by without hugging- your physical body matters to me and i want to hold you close- smelling and touching you will help me remember you- i love you- i know you so well that i want to wrap my arms around you- we have the type of relationship in which we hug– all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well- no words can express my support…

…or my joy

…or my sorrow

…or my longing

…or my offered strength,

…or my gratitude, but maybe you will feel it through my hug.

and things like, but not exactly: i’m with you- thank you just for being with me- may God bless you and keep you- may our friendship continue forever- until we meet again- i’ll miss you- i will always be your friend- go in peace

hugs are the punctuation marks of our greetings and partings, distinguishing beginning, middle, and end, making sense of everything spoken and unspoken

i used to think hugs could make things awkward, but now i can see that they make awkward things bearable

they are our holy kiss

i feel that now