I never want to add anything to our “Motherhood Should-Do” lists (the Lord knows they are MUCH LONGER than they *should* be), but this week, I’m looking for 3 spaces on our “could do” lists. I’ve got three things on my heart for you; three things you and I could do that we’ll really enjoy.
Thing Two: Every mother could experience the joy of making eye-contact with her children. Every day. All day long. All their years.
I am convinced that this is a sure way to establish a deep and lasting relationship with our infants and adult children alike.
When a mother makes eye-contact with her child, she shows that she cares.
She communicates transparency. Availability. Intimacy.
Her eyes say, “I want to know you. And I want you to know me, too.”
They say, “I am not afraid to be a human being. You don’t have to be afraid either.”
When I look into Vivienne’s sparkly eyes while she is telling me a story, I connect with her. And my heart swells in appreciation for her as a human being. Something about those dancing eyes causes me to think, “Wow. What a girl.” The best part? She knows I really heard her story.
When I look into Lia’s eyes while she is laughing her head off at a nonsensical joke, I laugh out loud, too, and we connect deeply even in the midst of light-hearted banter.
When Viv walks into a room, and I catch her eye to say, “Hello, Sweetie!” She absorbs the sweetness and becomes a sweeter girl.
When Lia is feeling down-and-out, and I take time to kneel and look her in the eye, asking, “What’s wrong??” She pours her heart out to me.
With our eyes, we have the opportunity to say, I have time for you.
You are worth knowing.
You are worth looking at.
You are worth looking into.
You are lovely to know.
You are lovely to look at.
You are lovely to look into.
When we make eye-contact with our children, we say, I want you to see me, too.
You are worth my trust.
I trust my heart, my story, my smiles, my sadness, my hopes, my disappointments, my time, and my love to you, dear child. Yes, to you.
Do you know why this loving gesture is so powerful? Because our Father sets His eyes on us; and our souls know the depth of such searing love. Because we learn parenting from Him, and He desires to guide us with the love in His eyes. And because, when we look to Him (oh, the bliss), we are saved.
“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.” Psalm 32: 8 – 9
“The Lord looks down from heaven; he beholdeth all the sons of men. From the place of his habitation he looketh upon all the inhabitants of the earth. He fashioneth their hearts alike; he considereth all their works.” Psalm 33: 13 – 15
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