Mourn With Those Who Mourn

LauraMotherhood, Stillbirth

These notes are for myself to remember how much certain gifts have meant to me; to remember that, in time, that’s the way I want to give, too.

A list of the gifts that have ministered such grace to me during my mourning…

Some are well-worn beloved sentiments that work every time; others are surprising gifts that were just what I needed.

* someone listening

* someone crying with me

* anyone praying for me

* dear family and friends traveling miles to be with us

* unafraid comfort from other women who are pregnant

* flowers. Bright, beautiful, alive flowers

* playing catch with a boy at a picnic where I otherwise didn’t want to speak

* The words, “I’m so sorry…”

* The request, “Tell me about her…”

*2 blueberry bushes

* CDs of music

* cards from close friends; cards from strangers

* water balloon fights

* The words, “I love her name!”

* Meals. If ever I have been tossed upside down, this is it. Meals kept us keeping time and eating well. One of our most inspiring meals was filled to the brim with every blessing possible: a card with sentiments from each husband and wife; a vase of fragrant wild flowers; grilled chicken; tortellini salad; fruit salad; 3 types of artisan bread; and anti-oxidant popsicles for dessert. (Yes, I cried with delight.)

* a package that contained an adorable t-shirt from my favorite store in the world

* hard work

* caring people watching our children when I needed time alone

* swimming laps

* the so so many treasured words from friends and strangers who reached through cyberspace to deliver messages of hope, comfort, and sympathy.

Thank you, thank you for the gifts.