Q: What crafts have you been doing this season? You must be having so much fun with all of the festivities!!

A: Hmmm… well, the only things we have been successfully making this season are: one runny nose, a raw upper lip, and a dumpster-full of crumpled tissues.

Not very festive.

Not very fun.

Oh, and the worst part is that since Vivienne is a nurse and is highly aware of bodily functions, she cannot stand even one invisible bit of runniness. So, if she feels it, it must be wiped or blown away! And she will not rudely sniff it in as I am trying desperately to teach her. She explains all kinds of reasons why it is not good for her body to do this. I explain that, although it might not be good for her body (I’d still like to see the research for this, though), it’s good for my sanity, which is ultimately good for her… and her body. Oh, and did I mention that she cannot sleep if she feels the slightest tickle in her throat? If she feels it, it must be coughed away even if she must stay up until 4 a.m. to get it out.

The poor girl really must be at her wits’ end.

I sure am!

Yesterday, I told Ryan that I want to do one of two things:

* take the cheapest flight out of town to anywhere

OR

* curl up in the fetal position and hide in the closet.

He said I’d have to go with the closet.

I said I didn’t fit.

Not that I tried. Yet.

So, pray for our little family. Pray for Vivienne, who has been sick for at least two weeks and has been positively miserable with all of the drippings. It’s amazing how these things can really inspire a mother to retire, retreat, empty her closet, and play movies back-to-back all day long.

Pray for the tissue industry and the garbage man who will have to haul away our fluffy pile on Tuesday.