Inspired by a “What’s your baby wearing for Halloween?” conversation with my sister, I was tossing and turning in bed at 6 a.m. when I finally remembered what Vivienne wants to be for Halloween this year: a chicken. I knew it was something that I might get arrested for (or at least commented about. I can just hear the hushed whispers, “Poor little thing. We heard that her mother wants to homeschool her, too. We hope she turns out okay.”) This could be bad. Especially in a neighborhood full of Disney Princesses (the little sisters of last year’s Disney Princesses). What’s everyone going to say when they open the door and see Cinderella, a Pumpkin, Spider Man, and…a chicken?

As you can imagine, chicken costumes abound online. My dilemma is that I’m committed to keeping Halloween as benign and unfrightening as possible and these costumes are straight-up SCARY. Even the Baby Rainbow Chickie Costume would cause the goriest ghoul to turn and run back down the sidewalk with his plastic pumpkin in tow.

Vivienne’s inspiration is the Chicken Dance itself. She dances to it every day and is getting pretty good at the flapping thing. So, if you can imagine, the costume would be just the right thing. And would probably bring out her inner-chicken so that she can dance with abandon, finally identifying with shin-high birds that don’t fly. I wouldn’t say that she’s necessarily committed to the idea, though. Last night, when I asked her if she could remember her dream-costume, she said, “I’ll be a bug! a DANCING bug!”

I’m going to Old Navy next weekend and I’m sure I’ll be overwhelmed with the number of Chicken and Dancing Bug costume options, but in case I’m not, pass along your ideas for how I can make this little chicken’s dreams come true. And start sending those feathers! I figure, if worse comes to worst, I’ll just use a glue-gun to attach a bunch of feathers to a cardboard box. Cut out a hole for air, and wah-lah, a chicken. Just wait ’til you see it dance.