What Due Dates Mean

Maybe you’ll remember that I posted this same photo way back in February.

At the time, I was enjoying the early weeks of my third pregnancy. I was happy and content as I felt life growing and changing inside of me. Yet, I glimpsed something profound about Lia asking to wear her bathing suit for two weeks in a row, despite the 2 feet of snow outside. This is what I wrote that day:

“Why we need each other:

…because sometimes,

in the middle of winter,

when the snow just keeps coming and coming,

one of us begs to put on a bathing suit and,

smelling of last year’s chlorine and sunblock,

reminds the rest of the family that spring is on its way;

that seasons give way to seasons;

and that today is a good one to hope.”

I loved the photo so much that it instantly became the background on my computer, and has been ever since.

So, as things would go, I find myself approaching the due date of Juliette’s expected birth. The big day that we so joyously shared with countless people for 20 whole weeks, until we said good-bye to Juliette in May. Since then, October 10, 2010 (10-10-10!) has become an ache, a sigh.

And yet, it’s the craziest thing, because I find myself with something precious to look forward to on that very same weekend: a part in a musical.

A silly, childish musical. (Snoopy!!! The Musical of all things, chock full of bright songs and cartoonish jokes.) But it has been the perfect antidote as I approach 10-10-10. Who could have guessed that my voice would feel stronger than ever, my heart more expectant than ever, and my smile easier than it has been in a long, long time?

This is God’s merciful gift: that I will be surrounded by giggling children, and caring parents – not to mention singing, dancing, and simple childhood pleasure – on the very weekend I anticipated meeting Juliette. With Ryan, Vivienne, Lia, and other family and friends by my side, it will be a sweet weekend. And, in my heart, Juliette’s due date will be commemorated with a simple, local-theater delight.

By the way, I had never shown you the front of Lia’s bathing suit that barren day in February.

I will say it again: these personal, unexpected, good gifts from our Father remind me that today is a good one to hope.



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13 responses to “What Due Dates Mean”

  1. martha brady Avatar

    so true! (i have a stillbirth in my past too.) a friend and i were talking the other day and decided that we each are able to do this for each other often-have hope for them in their situation! it is easy to become down about some aspect of our own life, but be hopeful about what God is doing for someone else. That must be one of the reasons we have been commanded to love each other. as i encourage, i hear the words i’m saying and realize i need to listen to them myself:)

  2. Sarah Mae Avatar

    Laura, I have chills seeing the front of her suit – how beautiful and wonderful! Wow, I love God’s goodness to us!

  3. grandmom ruthie Avatar
    grandmom ruthie

    Ours is a God of Hope…we just need to have eyes to see His message
    woven into the thousands of details of our lives.
    Look forward to sharing this with you!

  4. Jenny Avatar

    I love you.

  5. Brooke Clarke Avatar
    Brooke Clarke

    Wow, what a wonderful hug from God. Bless you.

  6. Brandy Avatar

    Oh gosh. This post had me tearing up and chills running up my arms when I saw that last picture.

    Blessings …

  7. Kari Avatar

    The world sees coincidence, God’s people see God in loving action. Blessings to you, Laura!

  8. heidi @ wonder woman wannabe Avatar

    What a special gift – something only He could orchestrate indeed. Thanks for sharing it with us. 😉

  9. Sonia Avatar

    little lump in my throat when I saw the front of Lia’s suit. God is so VERY, VERY good to us.
    New site looks fab! Ryan did a great job.

  10. grandmomruthie Avatar

    Love the picture below!

  11. Abbi Avatar

    Aww, I had a baby due on 03/03/03 that we lost, too. There isn’t a March 3rd that goes by that I don’t think about that baby! He really is “the God of all comfort.” Great post!

  12. Rachel Avatar

    Wow. So beautiful. I’m amazed by all the seemingly small ways the Lord reminds me that he is aware of me and my individual journey here on earth!

  13. Ruth Avatar

    Hi Laura! I just stumbled across your blog and wanted to thank you for being so candid in your loss of your little girl. I have four living children, but have experienced four losses as well. I think that women who have experienced the loss of a child draw such comfort and encouragement from one another. Thank you for warming my heart as I read your blogs.

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